Psalm 127:1-2 reads, "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In Vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat--for he grants sleep to those he loves."
Going into my second month of inactivity, I've been feeling very anxious. I think we're conditioned to think that if we're not busy and moving ahead, we're really not making progress in our lives. One of the greatest judgments one can place on anyone in our society is that they are lazy. Being accused of laziness occupies that circle of hell reserved for losers and worthless people in our modern times. Well, as I look for a job and wait for God's plan to unfold, I keep getting these panic attacks that I'm not doing enough to further my job search. I keep thinking only if I do more, try harder, call more people then maybe some job will magically appear.
I turned to the Bible tonight because I needed something to soothe my mind over the seeming current reality that I'm eminently unemployable. I turned to the Psalms and after reading a few short chapters came unto 127. How much clearer can God be in his Word to us that we do not succeed in anything by our own efforts. Surely the laborers can build a house without God. In fact, we see houses built all the time by people far from God. Even more certainly cities and civilizations have been built over history by people far from God. And yet God, in his Word, says that without him the laborers build in vain. More than that God says that he will build the house for us.
This passage reminds me that no matter how much I can or have built up my life, if I haven't done it to bring praise and glory to our Lord and Savior, then it's all been done in vain. If God's purposes are not central to everything that we do, then all that we think we've done is for naught. Sure we may enjoy temporary success and achieve some level of enjoyment in our actions and deeds, but they will not resonate in eternity. We have not served our God by doing things on our own for our own good.
And God promises at the end of verse 2 that if we put him first, then he will give us sleep. No more toiling and struggling. He will give us rest and provide for us. Can I approach this period with a whole heart focused on God and trusting in his divine providence? Or do I let these frequent attacks of anxiety and worry divide my heart? On my own strength I know for a fact that my heart will gravitate to things that will dull the anxiety. And we have so many distractions in our lives that can do that. But on God's strength I know for a fact that he will give me the strength to focus on him and lean on him.
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1 comment:
i'm glad you're writing this blog - it makes me know how much you try to, and know that you must, trust God. i know it's hard - and we both know that fortunately or unfortunately, this won't be the last time you go through something like this. we'll pray that maybe next time, it won't be for as long or as anxiety-ridden. and the blog helps me, too. so thank you. love you tons and am always praying for you.
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