Why me?

Ever wonder what Peter must have thought when Jesus singled him out to be the lone person that would explicitly disown Jesus? Jesus had just called him out, in front of all the other disciples. Shame? Rage? Indignation? All four gospels have some variation of the narrative, but I find the passages in Matthew and Mark particularly interesting. I've copied both passages here:

Matthew 26:35
But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the other disciples said the same.

Mark 14:31
But Peter insisted emphatically, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the others said the same.

It's funny but for most of my life, I never noticed that last sentence in each account. But in preparing for Bible study a few weeks ago, I noticed that Mark's account says that "all the others said the same". Matthew confirms this. So for so long, I always thought it was Peter's lone bravado that had him declaring front and center that he'd die for Jesus. But that's not the case. ALL the disciples said the same. True, it may have been Peter who led the chorus, but every single one of them echoed Peter's words. So it must have been to Peter's dismay when Jesus pointed to him and declared to everyone that it was Peter who would be the one to specifically disown him, not once, but three times. We can only guess at Peter's reaction, but one of them must have been, "Why me?"

Why is it that Peter gets singled out? If Jesus is using this incident to teach Peter about humility and his weakness apart from Christ, isn't that a valuable lesson that each and every disciple could and should learn as well? How much grace would every disciple have felt, as Peter did, when Christ after the resurrection accepts Peter and charges him with his apostolic mission?

I'm sure the reasons are far and deep, but one thought that runs into my mind is that God hits the nerves in us that run most deep. From the Gospel accounts we know that Peter is often the most vocal and most brash of the twelve. He is also the de facto leader. From the four Gospel narratives we know it's Peter who begins the protestations of never leaving Jesus' side. Perhaps it's Peter who most needed to see that he himself is not able to abide by Jesus's side. That it's not from his own strength, courage and determination that he is able to carry Christ's cross. Peter needed to see, in a most painful way, that he is not able to meet God on his own strength. When faced with fear and temptation, he falls. Truly all the other disciples would learn a similar lesson from such an episode. But perhaps in God's wisdom it was Peter who would learn most from such an experience. We can only imagine how much pain and yet how much grace and forgiveness Peter must have felt when he meets the risen Christ.

When we look inside our own hearts, what is it that runs most deep? When we quietly question God, "why me?" when those things that are dearest to us don't seem to be going our way, is it God's way of striking at what's taking up the most real estate in our hearts?

All the Kingdoms of the World

For some reason I've been thinking the last couple of days about Christ's temptation in the desert. We all remember the Sunday school lessons on Satan's attempts at leading Jesus away from God, and how Jesus uses Scripture to turn Satan away. In some ways it's fantastical because there's no way we'll ever be tempted to turn stones into bread to satisfy our hunger (that's a unique temptation to the Son of God since no person could ever do that). And I doubt anyone in their sane mind would want to jump off a building to see if angels come and swoop them up. But Satan's third temptation, the one where he promises Jesus all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor, has been on my mind.

I'm not sure why I've been thinking about this, but I started thinking about what can I learn about my life and how I'm supposed to live through what Jesus went through in the desert. I've never been taken to the highest mountains and been shown all the world by Satan. But who of us hasn't been shown vast material wealth on television? Who of us doesn't have or know of a friend/acquaintance/colleague who's struck it big and leads a lifestyle of the rich and famous? We're constantly fed images of wealth and material accumulation. So much so in fact that we begin to think that our goal in life is to gather assets and watch those assets grow.

I vaguely remember watching some made for TV movie where Satan was a man in a black suit and he took a person (who I think was Jesus--remember, made for TV, not great quality!) high up on some mountain and showed them the world. Now most, and I daresay all, of us will never be supernaturally taken to some high point and tempted in this manner, but it happens to us everyday. Everyday I'm thinking of ways to make money, gather assets and hoard. I see what someone I know has, and my mind whirls into action into how I can get that same thing.

I guess for me a realization was that Jesus' temptation in the desert is not some fantastical event that can only happen to the Son of God. We undergo the very same temptations each and every day. We so often forsake God for quick satisfaction of our physical needs (turning stone into bread). We so often go against God when someone belittles our assumed abilities and dents our pride (jump and be saved by angels). We so often covet and lust when we see the riches of the world (bow down to Satan and receive the kingdoms of the world). Satan shows us the kingdoms of the world every day, and how many of us fall for it? How many of us have that idol in our heart?

We need to look to Jesus, who was able to resist temptation by shining the truth of Scripture on the lies of Satan. How often do we fail because our hearts listen to the lies of temptation?