Why me?

Ever wonder what Peter must have thought when Jesus singled him out to be the lone person that would explicitly disown Jesus? Jesus had just called him out, in front of all the other disciples. Shame? Rage? Indignation? All four gospels have some variation of the narrative, but I find the passages in Matthew and Mark particularly interesting. I've copied both passages here:

Matthew 26:35
But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the other disciples said the same.

Mark 14:31
But Peter insisted emphatically, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the others said the same.

It's funny but for most of my life, I never noticed that last sentence in each account. But in preparing for Bible study a few weeks ago, I noticed that Mark's account says that "all the others said the same". Matthew confirms this. So for so long, I always thought it was Peter's lone bravado that had him declaring front and center that he'd die for Jesus. But that's not the case. ALL the disciples said the same. True, it may have been Peter who led the chorus, but every single one of them echoed Peter's words. So it must have been to Peter's dismay when Jesus pointed to him and declared to everyone that it was Peter who would be the one to specifically disown him, not once, but three times. We can only guess at Peter's reaction, but one of them must have been, "Why me?"

Why is it that Peter gets singled out? If Jesus is using this incident to teach Peter about humility and his weakness apart from Christ, isn't that a valuable lesson that each and every disciple could and should learn as well? How much grace would every disciple have felt, as Peter did, when Christ after the resurrection accepts Peter and charges him with his apostolic mission?

I'm sure the reasons are far and deep, but one thought that runs into my mind is that God hits the nerves in us that run most deep. From the Gospel accounts we know that Peter is often the most vocal and most brash of the twelve. He is also the de facto leader. From the four Gospel narratives we know it's Peter who begins the protestations of never leaving Jesus' side. Perhaps it's Peter who most needed to see that he himself is not able to abide by Jesus's side. That it's not from his own strength, courage and determination that he is able to carry Christ's cross. Peter needed to see, in a most painful way, that he is not able to meet God on his own strength. When faced with fear and temptation, he falls. Truly all the other disciples would learn a similar lesson from such an episode. But perhaps in God's wisdom it was Peter who would learn most from such an experience. We can only imagine how much pain and yet how much grace and forgiveness Peter must have felt when he meets the risen Christ.

When we look inside our own hearts, what is it that runs most deep? When we quietly question God, "why me?" when those things that are dearest to us don't seem to be going our way, is it God's way of striking at what's taking up the most real estate in our hearts?